Constantly talking isn't necessarily communicating

Paris Hilton's a racist. Who knew? I mean, what about Pharrell? P. Diddy? Maybe she's not used to being in front of a camera unless she's getting f*cked in the a**. That might throw me off too...make me so mad I just start spouting off racist remarks. Hey Paris, while you're at it, how about a little anti-semitism? Don't worry, the Kabballists won't get mad...they know they're not really Jewish.

I tried yoga for the first time last night. I'm not bendy at all, so I couldn't even manage the "upward standing dog" position...an essential part of the yoga. But I gave my best effort and waited 15 mins before giving up. I'm determined to get through the whole work out, all 45 mins, but I realize it may take me a while to work up to that. I'm setting goals, people. Goals I might actually meet.

I don't know what I want to do tonight. I'm planning on watching the debates so as to be an "informed" citizen. But what about after that? Should I continue my week of doing nothing (a norm for me...save last week)? Hmmm....something to think about. Maybe I'll make a list, a la Ashley. Or maybe not, don't really have anything to put on it.

The AM turned me on to this. So now I guess how popular you are in the blogosphere is measured by how much this blog critic makes fun of you. A girl can dream....I wonder what it's like, to be what you pretend to hate. Wait, I know that feeling.

And my brother sent me this. I don't have quick time so I can't do anything with it. I just like the title.
R.

I'll be back in the high life again

All the doors I closed one time will open up again

Ugh, my server is down so I can't get on my computer. How am I typing this, you ask? Well, it's only my computer that's not working, so I'm sitting at a coworkers desk until she decides to saunter in around 11. I don't like it over here...

Okay, I'm back at my desk. Turns out it had nothing to do w/ my server, but that something was unplugged. I'm a genius. Actually, I didn't even figure it out...my coworker did. So I'm not a genius, but rather a borderline invalid.

I feel pretty today. I think it's the new skirt I'm wearing that hugs my a** just so. I feel classy, but a little slutty, in the "teacher by day, stripper by night" sort of way. Maybe I should make this my new "look."

So...last night watched "The Apprentice." The girls on the show...what b*tches. Don't tell them I said that, they might scratch my eyes out. They make me ashamed to be a woman. I hate them all. Good riddance to Jen C...she made me want to throw things at my tv, but that would only hurt me, not her. I'm completely rooting for the men's team, particularly Andy and John. Andy, b/c he's adorable and the underdog being the youngest...John, well, b/c he's hot. Hot in that completely obvious way, which usually wouldn't do it for me, but I can't help myself. Me likes what I see.

I also watched the same episode of "Sex and the City" that I saw on Tuesday night. How lame is that? But I don't care...it's that good. And I might as well stick w/ talking about tv, but I watched "That 70's Show" and it actually pains me how unfunny it is these days. Topher has always been the base of the show, my reason to watch, and yes, he's still hilarious (it's that delivery, I tell you) but lately he's been looking a little on the creepy side, like an overgrown 16 yr old. It has something to do w/ the shadow of a mustache that always sits atop his lip...I hope it's not there in "Synergy", I don't want it to ruin the movie for me (The script was great...but that doesn't really mean anything).

I read in "Time" that this guy wrote a book called something like "Know-it-all" and it's based on his reading of the entire Encyclopedia Brittanica. I wonder how much of the big "E" I actually read thorughout my life, w/ all the papers and projects and general informational reading I've done. Definitely nowhere near 33,000 pages. F*ck, I can't even get through a 400 page book. Maybe I should set higher goals.

Update: Things are looking so far, so good re: asking for a raise. I've decided next Wednesday is the day. Wish me luck. I'm terrified.
R.

p.s. I'm getting back to my roots...look, no links. I'm sure I'll be all over that later when I'm suffering from extreme boredom. (I decided just now to never mention again my boredom at work...I think I've made my point)

No sex and the city

I wish my life was like "Sex and the City." A different attractive guy every week, with the occassional relationship, lots of shoes and fabulous clothes, never having to work (unless you count the few minutes she types on her laptop), and an endless supply of money for partying and eating brunch w/ my friends. Alas, my life is the exact opposite, but that's okay- I'm determined to up the fabulous factor...or at least make it more interesting. I don't know if I have the ability to be "fabulous"...maybe I should settle for "mildly intriguing". Anyway, I watched the best episode last night (albeit edited on TBS)- it was the one where Carrie finds out that Mr. Big is engaged to Natasha...breaks my heart.
Carrie: Your girl is lovely, Hubbell.
Mr. Big: I don't get it.
Carrie: And you never did.

Brown is the new blonde. I don't need Reese Witherspoon or Renee Zellweger to tell me that brown is "in"...although it doesn't hurt for them to say it once in a while. My time is now!

"Daily Show" viewers ace political quiz. I knew I wasn't just watching b/c it's funny as hell. Of course, I still think I'd fail the quiz...I don't retain information very well. Unless it's movie quotes. And that's really going to get me far in life.
"Daily Show" viewers know more about election issues than people who regularly read newspapers or watch television news, according to the National Annenberg Election Survey"

Xtina wants to start a revolution. I can't help it, it really annoys me when celebrities get political. I take that back...when Ms. Aguilera tries to get political. Frankly, I'm sick of hearing about her every week...last week it was talking to teens about abstinence, this week it's voting, next week it could be saving the ozone, I don't know, I'm just guessing here. And as for Christina trash talking Britney..."Hello, Pot...it's me Kettle- you're black". At least Brit Brit is good for a laugh. So Christina, just stick to singing (insert one finger in ear, use the other to feel the music) and being dirrty (minus the piericings...but not the assless chaps), okay? It ensures balance in the universe. (Why you got to be hatin' on Xtina?)

And the "don't quit your day job" winners of the week...drum roll please...
we have a tie!
Minnie Driver: I'd like to thank my fledgling movie career and my failed relationship w/ Josh Brolin. Play through the pain, Minnie, play through the pain. Editors note: She played at SXSW and I heard she sucks.
John Corbett: I'm starring in a movie w/ Hillary Duff...need I say more? Editors note: John, John, John (shaking head)...Hillary Duff?
Just b/c J. Lo crossed over doesn't mean you can. I mean, look at what it did for her acting career.
Pre J. Lo: Out of Sight, Selena, Mi Familia
Post J. Lo: The Wedding Planner, Gigli, Bennifer
You just can't be successful at more than one thing. It's not fair to the rest of us.
R.

Guttenberg!

Randy and Moss (of Save Mary Kate fame) have designed new t-shirts you can buy here. Dualstar may try to stop them from mocking MK, but Stevie, you're on your own.

Top 5 Guttenberg movies:

1) Don't Tell Her it's Me: Gus is a fat cartoonist that recently won a battle against cancer, which explains his baldness. But he is also lonely.

2) Police Academy: A group of good-hearted but incompotent misfits enter the police academy, but the instructors there are not going to put up with their pranks.

3) Cocoon: When a group of trespassing seniors swim in a pool containing alien cocoons, they find themselves energized with youthful vigour.

4) Short Circuit: Number 5 of a group of experimental robots in a lab is electrocuted, suddenly becomes intelligent, and escapes.

5) Three Men and a Baby: Three bachelors find themselves forced to take care of a baby left by one of the guy's girlfriends.

I prefer #2....which is your favorite?
R.

I kick arse for the Lord!

I hate being sick. It ruined my weekend. And I still feel like sh*t, but I had to get out of the house or go crazy. Those were my only options.

I did watch "Dead Alive" on Friday even though I was feeling the initial pains of the sickness (shortness of breath, inability to breath through my nose, etc). "Bloodiest movie ever" to quote one review. I'm so desensitized, I think I only pulled the girly squeal "Ooh...gross...oh my goodness...that's disgusting" a few times. I hate to admit that, but it's true. I, Reagan, squealed like a b*tch.

I don't think I have the will to blog anymore, but I'm not going to give up...mainly b/c I have nothing else to do. I accept the fact that this post is neither funny nor entertaining and apologize for wasting anyone's time.

Oh Britney. You so crazy After this, let's roll Justin's house!

And that's not all...I sold drugs to Britney Spears (via goldenfiddle). No, not me. But it's in the Enquirer, so it must be true. I remember when they outed the New Kids back in the early 90's. Pissed me off. Lies I tell you, all lies!!!

List of things I won't be buying: Olsen twins album (via Stereogum). I have to say, I was disappoined in their first record "Brother for sale" and I'm not so sure their follow-up will be much better.
Brother for sale
Only fifty cents
Brother for sale
He's not a big expense
You can hug him
You can bug him
You could buy or rent
Brother for sale,
Only fifty cents

I'm destined to be alone forever. I'm almost 25 and have yet to experience a significant relationship. Maybe I need to lower my standards. Maybe I'm searching for something that doesn't exist. All I'm asking for is a guy (preferably) who's funny, attractive, smart, and likes to do exactly the same things I do. And likes the same music and movies as me. Is that too much? Lately I've been feeling very unattractive, for reasons I'd rather not express here. I definitely need to accept who I am, know there's only so much I can change, stop comparing myself to other people, and realize that "maybe he's just not that into me." I'm not talking about anyone specific, I just want to bring back that mantra, it makes things a lot easier to take.
R.

Now I've seen a lot of bullshit... angel dust, switchblades, sexually perverse photographs involving tennis rackets

I'm stuck on the "Heathers" quotes today.

I don't want to know how it happened, but Stacie J. got the axe on "The Apprentice" last night. So I guess I have to take back what I said about The Donald keeping her on the show for ratings purposes...my theory doesn't hold water since he fired her in week three. I'm sorry D...I was wrong to call you out like that.

I often don't commit myself to new shows b/c I feel that I already have enough on my plate w/ Everwood, The OC, Scrubs, Arrested Development, The Apprentice, and anything on HBO (though, sadly, the season just ended...sniffle). But I think I'm going to check out this Veronica Mars b/c of all the buzz it's getting (via AICN). Variety called it the "smartest teen-oriented drama since 'Freaks and Geeks.'" This made my eyes light up a little bit, seeing as how I think F & G is the greatest tv show of all time. That's right- all time. I display my autographed DVD (by Judd Apatow) proudly on top of my tv as if it were a signed picture of Chad Micheal Murray (or whoever really sets your heart a flutter). And I know I should probably be moving away from "teen-oriented" shows since I'm almost 25, but I can't help myself...look at the alternatives. Dramas for "adults" are either CSI or Law and Order..yeah, they don't really do it for me. Or I guess those crappy Lifetime shows. No thanks...I may watch a lot of tv, but even I have standards...burn!

I'm fascinated by this article on La.com: Is Jeremy Sisto Circumcised? (via Defamer). I don't really have a comment, I'm not one to talk about such things as "penises" or "circumcisions", I'm a lady...but I will say, turtleneck or no turtleneck, I'd do him. And I know Ashley will like this, seeing as how she was the one who told me about the play in the first place.

Countdown: 2 hours from this moment. If I didn't stay late everyday. Which I do. Not by choice.
R.

It’s been seven hours and fifteen days...since you took your love away

Maybe I was too quick to judge Shaun of the Dead in my last post? The only thing I knew about the film was the title...and one preview. Maybe I'll like it...maybe I'll hate it...but I admire Uncle Grambo's devotion to this new rom-zom-com (romantic zombie comedy) genre. Maybe devotion is the wrong word...appreciation? That's better. Oh, and congrats U.G. on your buzz. Obvs.

I just remembered that last night a rotund Irishman w/ a white beard (helping you to form a mental image) bumped into me while trying to squeeze through the crowd. I moved out of the way (as I do...I'm polite like that) but he just stared at me, checking me out (you know, looking me up and down...liked what he saw). He mumbled something through his thick accent and slightly slurred speech and after three rounds of "what?" I finally deciphered what he was trying to tell me:
"Now that I've seen ya, I want ya"
Damn....I've still got it!

You rip up one picture of the Pope....
Sinead "Nothing Compares 2 U" O'Connor has taken out a full page ad in the Irish Examiner, pleading for people to stop making fun of her. Didn't your mother teach you that the best way to get rid of a bully is to ignore him? You've just doused kerosene onto the fire that is your ridicule. Fight the real enemy!

So Zombie movie night looks like it can go one of two ways:
1) Watching Dead Alive at Kerry's while partaking in a little malt liquor
2) Watching Shaun of the Dead at the Arclight as part of their 21 + drinking movies.
Funny that #2 is an option after I disregarded it so easily. Upon careful consideration, I let Kerry know that I'm easy and down for whatever. That's just how I do.
R.

F*ck me gently with a chainsaw

Last night's first happy hour...the rundown. I have to give props (this means "congratulations" for those not familiar w/ my ghetto speak) to Katie and Ashley for planning a fun time for all last night...I was happy to see some people I hadn't seen in quite the while...Tim, Trey, Katie, Joe, Jessica, etc. Sorry if I left anyone out, but the orchestra's starting to play. I consummed 4 rum and coke's (my drink of choice...always) and got a nice little buzz going before driving home to watch "The Daily Show". I'm devestated that I missed "The Apprentice" but am determined to catch the rerun on Saturday. Of course, I will be checking to see who got kicked off/fired...I can't wait, I must know. For our quasi-celebrity sighting of the evening, Rider Strong showed up at Barney's, w/ no affiliation to our happy hour, but on his own accord. You may remember him from "Boy Meets World"...or you may not, b/c you aren't a complete loser like myself and didn't watch it. And...I've gotten my first birthday gift early from Jessica- tickets to Rilo Kiley on Halloween. This totally makes up for not getting into the show the other night....suckers! (Two shout-outs Jess...take note).

Congratulations to Billy Bob Thornton....It's a girl! Better start writing those child support payment checks out now.

Breaking news: Miranda's a les! As in lesbian...as in she likes girls...she likes them a lot. Miranda was always my favorite character on "Sex and the City"...when I played the game "Which Sex and the City character are you?" w/ various friends (it's a short game), I was always most definitely a Miranda. And I don't know what this has to do w/ anything. So what, she likes women, good for her. Have a ball Cynthia. Or not...ba dum dum. (I've got to stop w/ the lame jokes...maybe there is a support group I could join?)

Movies opening this weekend...accompanied by a one sentence review:
1. First Daughter: This looks like crap and I'm 99.9% sure it is. (Gotta give Katie that .1 % benefit of the doubt)
2. The Forgotten: Julianne Moore can make any movie good.
3. The Last Shot: Alec Baldwin annoys me...bring back Billy!
4. The Motorcylce Diaries: I don't care that he's little, I want to make love on Gael.
5. Shaun of the Dead: Yeah....this was a good idea. (sarcasm intended)
R.

3 hours 45 mins and counting

OMG...could this day be any slower? I've been sitting here for the past hour thinking, don't post again, don't post again...Reagan! Do. not. post. again. But I can't help it. I'm lonely.

I have to thank Ashley for reminding me of a former mantra of mine...and now the title of a book..."He just not that into you." Thanks Oprah bringing this statement back into my life. The phrase has been officially reinstated into my vocabulary and will hopefully bring me peace of mind as it has done in the past.
I'm counting the hours until the first official Ashley and Katie present: Happy Hour begins...so far it's better than our book club (which we started two months ago and have yet to plan a meeting...b/c we haven't read the book). It seems as if a hodge podge of people will be in attendence, granted that they're not like me and say "sure, I'll be there" and then go home to watch tv and ignore any phone calls.

I've always been against personalize license plates (especially ones tauting "Daddy's Grl"), but this is acceptable. Because it's funny. Well, it's actually not that funny, but the fact that someone wrote a letter in protest, that's the funny part.

It's the "Where are they now?" edition of Mickey Mouse Club. Damon, the mousketeer who really made my 10 yr old heart palpitate, is now an actor in California, and I'm pretty sure I can assume that means LA. My chances are so much better than when I was a pre-teen lusting after him in Longview, TX. Although I doubt they've improved by much.
R.

I am beautiful, no matter what they say

I've always known that looks don't matter to Paris Hilton...I mean, has anyone seen Nick Carter??? I'm going to now insult him in a very immature manner:
He puts the "fug" in "fugly" (can't help myself, I'm obsessed w/ this word)
He fell down the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down.
He's so ugly, his mom had to feed him w/ a sling shot. (This one works better using "momma" instead of "mom" and also if it's said by the Fresh Prince rather than a cracker from East Texas)

I'm so bored right now, I realize that everything I'm writing is not only completely ridiculous, but also just not funny. I've accepted this and am ready to keep going.

I find this funny/amusing/hilarious: Christina Aguilera preaching abstinence to teenagers. (via golden fiddle). I see this as being about as useful as a video of the Ku Klux Klan teaching tolerance. How is she an authority or even a relavant spokesperson? It's not as if she's learned some big lesson...give me a pregnant teenager, that will scare the sh*t out of them (not really, but in theory)...not someone who became famous using their sexuality/skank appeal. Why am I even arguing about this...it's for MTV...I shouldn't set such high standards. I do have to applaud Xtina for using the term "dry humping"...I don't think it's a term that's used quite enough.

And I'm spent.
R.

I feel so good if I just say the word Sussudio

What, no shotgun? Do's and don'ts for a hillbilly wedding.
They missed one...Do: File a marriage license.
Apparantley Mr. and Mrs. Spears danced the night away to 80's slow rock tunes from such artists as Phil Collins and Journey.
So now I come to you, with open arms, nothing to hide...
Kevin: I'm not very smart and in fact, I'm kind of a loser.
Britney: So am I!
believe what I say...
Britney: I love you, like, so much.
Kevin: I know...pass me my pipe.
so here I am, with open arms, hoping you'll see, what your love means to me...open arms
Britney: Let's commemorate this night by having sex....and this time, not in a bathroom stall. (note: Britney would never use the word "commemorate")
Kevin (smacking Britney on a**): Word.

Isn't every college frat boys wet dream to have a stripper pole in their dorm room? (via Fark) According to the article, several freshmen girls pole danced for a chance to win a $100 gift certificate to Victoria's Secret. Knowing myself as a freshman, I would have most likely been a contestant. I had a tendency to wear short skirts, tall shoes, and sparkly shirts while frequenting frat parties and consumming mass quantities of alcohol. I could have been talked into anything. In fact, it was that year that I gave my first blow job...afterwards he took my number and said those infamous words: "I'll call you." Bastard never called. What a lesson for an 18 yr old girl...

Remember the guy who posed in his ex-wife's wedding dress on ebay? Well, this reminded of him. Ebay is not only a way to sell useless items, but now it's an outlet for revenge. I wonder who first came up w/ the idea to give a pen as a gift? Whoever it is, should be shot. I think a pen is the worst gift possible, right above socks. I don't care how nice it is or how much it cost...it's pointless. Just wrap a $100 around a pkg of Bics and I'll be happy. Thought that counts, my a**.
R.

Making love in the afternoon

Save Moss and Randy! Lesson: Don't mess w/ Mary Kate or Dualstar will f*ck you up. Cease and desist this, b*tch! (pulls out oozie, Commando style)

My worst nightmare.
Dearn Internet:
I don't think I say this enough, but I'm really fond of you. Please say you'll never leave me. I'm sorry for all the times I've yelled at you b/c you were slow. It's not your fault, it's mine....I shouldn't open so many pages at once. I just can't help myself- I want to take in as much of you as possible! Without you, my days would be empty, my existence futile (b/w the hours of 9:30 and 7:00). Let's stay together forever.
XOXO,
Reagan

So I've been more active than usual- I went out two nights in a row this week. The key is this: Never sit down on the couch, for if you do, you're not going anywhere. I'm glad that I've actually been making the effort to stick my new year's resolution. Good for me, I'm proud of myself. Tonight, however, it's back to basics. Kicking it old school, if you will. I'm not doing a damn thing. Today I woke up lacking the will to go on and right now am dreading the remaining 5 hours of the day.

I will be 25 in less than a month and a half. 1/4 of my life will be over (I'm going to live to be 100 I decided...after I stop smoking). But the good news is that I can't wait for that special day when I don't pay for anything and it's all about me (I suggest everyday being like this but oddly enough most of my friends don't see it this way). It has to be better than last year when I knew maybe 10 people and was the only one who got trashed at my own party. This year will be different...b/c I know more than 10 people and a lot of them are borderline alcoholics.
R.

It's all the good that won't come out of us

Last night I tried to go to the Rilo Kiley show at The Echo w/ the AM & Ashley...but alas, it was not meant to be. After waiting in line for over an hour, we realized the dream was fading and opted to go for drinks at Short Stop instead. Good times...we sat in low lighting while discussing our families, movies, or anything else that felt like it warranted a discussion. Oh, and we did the photo booth...squeezing 3 people in wasn't an easy task and I was disappointed in the lack of options with regards to the background curtain...it was red or nothing. But it didn't really matter anyway b/c the pics were in black and white. It just would have been nice to have a choice, that's all I'm saying.

So you're not a Bush/Cheney fan or a Kerry/Edwards fan...and in fact, you don't want to vote for a politician at all. If you've found yourself w/ no one to support since Mary Carey gave up her political career after her devestating loss in the CA governor election...look no further: Hilton/Lohan 2004 (via witz) to the rescue. I wonder who the brains would be in this operation. And what about Tara Reid...does she feel betrayed? I mean, Paris was her best friend first...

I've been majorly f*cking up at work. It pisses me off b/c anytime I make a mistake I feel like it completely negates all the good things I've done. I hate that it has to be this way b/c I've been busting my a** at work...and since I wanted to ask for a raise soon, I hoped to use this as leverage. I don't know if that will work if my bosses look at me as an inept assistant who can't even remember to call people w/ important information. I literally just broke down to my boss about how overwhelmed I've been and now I'm feeling a awkward. Crazy has reared it's ugly head once again.
R.
p.s. My boss just told me not to worry, that I've been doing a great job. So just ignore the previous paragraph. I can stop freaking out now.

Free love on the free love freeway

Label this under "awesome"... Noel Gallagher and Ricky Gervais (aka David Brent in "The Office"...if you're not in the know) are going to record "Free Love Freeway" (via Golden Fiddle). Brent sings this in the first season, in the best episode ever. I never knew British humor could be so...what's the word...funny. I mean, "4 Weddings and Funeral"...I think I laughed once.
Free love on the free love freeway,
The love is free and the freeway’s long...
I got some hot love on the hot-love freeway
I ain’t going home cos’ my baby’s gone
Garreth: "She's dead"
David: "She's not dead"
(This is only funny/makes sense if you've seen the show...I often like to repeat things and just laugh at them)

No Britney news today...though I'm sure I could search to find something, anything, just to wet the palette. I'll settle for J. Lo...according to imdb, she refused to sing at hubby # 3's bday party b/c "had not been given enough time to prepare." I understand Jenny (can I call you Jenny?)...it's tough when you don't have an adequate number of back up dancers and no bronzer (I don't know...like I have a clue what she needs to prepare). So Mark ended up singing at his own bday party...poor guy. I cried a thousand tears when I read this story, it's just so terrible...sang at his own bday (shaking head in disappointment)...what a f*cking tragedy.

Is it just me or did they have to blur out Lindsay Lohan's nipple in this picture? Showing your tits in a low cut shirt is one thing, but areola...that's just tacky. At least it's good to know her dad has her back (or front...ba dum dum). He's sticking w/ Lindsay on the story that they're "real"...just admit it dammit and this whole thing will be over...admit it!!!! This reminds me of some gossip re: Jessica Simpson...apparantly her dad stays in the room while she changes clothes...meaning "changes" as in completely naked. I don't remember the last time my dad saw me naked...and that's b/c it was a long f*cking time ago before I learned that I should be embarassed of my body (thanks Seventeen, Glamour, etc...) Anyway, my source is reliable, so just take this gossip as fact.

I'll now end this w/ a "joke" my mom emailed me....I use the word joke loosely, b/c the word implies that it would be funny.
Five tips for a woman....
1. It is important that a man helps you around the house and has a job.
2. It is important that a man makes you laugh.
3. It is important to find a man you can count on and doesn't lie to you.
4. It is important that a man loves you and spoils you.
5. It is important that these four men don't know each other.
Girlfriend, that is so true!
R.

Now you got a bone to pick with me, but I wish you'd let me be

So yesterday my friend Justin emails me that he has an extra ticket to Ryan Adams...I reply of course w/ "I'm in...but how much?" Best answer possible: Free. Free? Then I'm so in. I'm more in than I was when I thought it would cost money (which was unfortunately not in at all). Okay, enough. And now I will give Reagan's cynical version of a concert review, that really doesn't talk about the music at all:
I've always been a fan of Mr. Adams music, but not so much a fan of him as a person...from various articles, sound bytes, stories, etc. he seems like an a**hole. And I'm not a fan of a**holes even if I myself can be one from time to time. But I digress...he opened w/ "To be young" and after that I didn't know a single song. I still enjoyed the concert, even if I would have preferred to be sitting down rather than standing behind two really tall girls (I'm talking over 6 ft tall...giants!). It ran a little long...my attention span stops at an hour and this went well past an hour and a half. His banter b/w songs was somewhat amusing...I particulary enjoyed his attempt at stand-up comedy:
(almost verbatim)
Ryan: So everyone kept telling me that I had to check out In & Out Burger when I came to LA. And now I know why they call it In & Out...b/c once you go in, you can never come out.
Oh Ryan, you're such a riot. You're so hilarious. I've never heard him speak before...I mean, I saw Whiskeytown about 6 yrs ago but at that point the name Ryan Adams meant nothing to me. He stutters a bit over his words and ends up sounding a bit like Bobcat Goldthwait...I kid you not. The only thing I really wanted to do, no matter how lame it would be, was to scream out "Summer of '69" when everyone else decided to recommend their song choices ("Wonderwall" was a popular one...and he didn't play it...and I was fine w/ this). I wonder if he'd kick another person out of his concert for making a Bryan Adams joke...one time, that's funny...two times, a little played out.
Oh, and I had one celebrity sighting...Alexis Bledel. Who? Well, that's Rory from the "Gilmore Girls". So there you go. And that's it...that's my night. I had a blast and have to say 10 times over THANK YOU JUSTIN!!!
R.
p.s. Apparantly Ryan's dating Parker Posey..."Wipe that face of your head, b*tch!"

It's a boy

My pregnant friend (sounds funny...but I only have one, what better way to describe her?) wants Ashley and myself to call her tonight....time to open the lines of communication. I can't really hate her for being a f*ck up. I can't hold a grudge, can I? It's just weird, what will I say to her? What will she say to me? Only one way to find out....but now I feel like an a**hole for making fun of her...I feel evil...I feel like a "Heather." She wants us to be aunts since she has no brothers or sisters. I hope she's stopped using drugs. I hope she's ready to change. I hope she will accept Jesus into her heart. Okay, that last line was a joke. I'm going to hell.
R.
p.s. I realize that if you haven't been an avid reader of my blog or if you're not my friend, then you probably don't know what I'm talking about...sorry to make you feel left out.

At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought

As usual, I bought "In Touch" this weekend even though I know the articles are always the same (Britney, J. Lo, pic of Demi/Ashton) but you can't beat the price...$1.99 compared to $3.29 for "US"...good bye "Stars...They're Just Like Us!" hello same thing in "In Touch" w/ a different name....that I can't recall. Best one ever...a picture of some star wiping dog sh*t off their shoe. Until that point, I could never imagine an actual "celebrity" stepping in sh*t, but the photograph convinced me that there isn't much difference b/w, say, Jessica Simpson and myself. In this issue, there are pics of her, dare I say it, grocery shopping. Your secrets out Jessica! You'll never live this down. So yes, she does by food, much like myself. We're practically the same person, except I doubt she counts in her head (given that she can count...ouch!) how much she's spending so as not to go above $50. There's also an article that discusses her struggle w/ her weight. I'm sorry, what? So she had trouble sticking to Atkins...it made her moody...big f*cking deal. Let's talk about trying to lose weight when you can't afford the "healthy" food b/c Stouffer's is that much cheaper and you had to cancel your gym membership b/c you can't afford it (or you never went...but maybe if I had the money to keep it even though I didn't use it, it would still be there for me should the inspiration ever occur). So there you have it.

My dream job is to be a commentator on "Best Week Ever." I think you have to be a comedian first. Unfortunately, I can't write stand-up as I learned a few years ago when I attempted a routine in front of a few of friends who only laughed b/c a) they were wasted and b) they were laughing at me, not w/ me. That's what happens when you include lame Micheal Jackson jokes and impersonnations of family members that are nowhere near accurate or funny in your routine. I learned a lesson that evening...one I'll never forget. That lesson is this: I lack the ability to comment on pop culture in a humorous/comedic way. I also can't point out everyday things and make them funny. Like making someone laugh and then say, "That's so true." Ex: When Ellen pointed out in her HBO special that you need scissors to open scissors. Think about this..."That's so true."

I watched a marathon of "Reno 911!" this weekend...this show is so f*cking funny, if you haven't seen it and you have a sense of humor, watch it. You will thank me. I'm serious, you will actually seek me out so that you shake my hand for giving you the gift of comedy. And it won't be the first time that's happened (see story above).

I briefly mentioned Kerry's bday in the last post...but to say a little more, I met some really cool people (I sound like such a dork when I say "cool"...I make the word very "uncool"...Should I maybe say "neat"? Or "rad"? Anyway I put it, it sounds lame) and hung out w/ some people that I already knew, but that doesn't make them any less important. And although I was quite wasted, my memory is not fuzzy...unless I did something stupid, then it's fuzzy. "What, I don't remember???"

I need to figure out what I want to do re: asking for a raise/getting a new job if I don't get a raise. I'm scared. I'm not ready for decisions. I need more time. Aaaahhhh!!!!

The phone hasn't rang in 45 mins...I'm so bored...I can't stop typing. I wish I got paid to do this.
R.

It's the eye of the tiger, I'm feeling so good

I need coffee...too lazy to make it myself...will wait for someone else to do it.

Welcome to the list issue of my blog. I don't feel like commenting on anything right now. Enjoy!

Weekend recap:
Friday- Kerry's bday at 4100. Got drunk, had fun.
Saturday- Recovered from drunken night by laying around and being worthless, babysat that night to make some much needed extra cash (esp after enormous tab from previous night).
Sunday- Went shopping for 80's clothes w/ Juliet for Renee's impending party, watched Emmy's...see below.

Favorite Emmy wins:
1) Best supporting actor, miniseries/drama: Micheal Imperioli
2) Best supporting actress, miniseries/drama: Drea de Matteo
3) Best comedy: Arrested Development ***please watch this show so that it will not be cancelled!

Favorite Emmy dresses:
1) Teri Hatcher
2) Mariska Hargitay
3) Debra Messing

Ugliest dresses:
1) Edie Falco
2) Courtney Peldon

Question: Who's Elaine Stitch?

And in other news...Losers of the moment:
1) Britney Spears
2) Macaulay Culkin
3) Edward Furlong

Things I'm thinking about right now:
1) Asking for a raise
2) How much I love coffee

XOXO,
Reagan

I'll gladly pay you tomorrow for a hamburger today

I've seen the previews for "Taxi" and I have to say, it's looks pretty awful. I remember when I learned they were doing a remake w/ Jimmy Fallon and Queen Latifah, I was a bit confused...b/c I thought of "Taxi Driver." I thought, is Jimmy going to be De Niro and Latifah Cybill? Or she could be Jodie Foster, if they were really changing the character completely. After actually expressing my confusion out loud (think first, ask questions later should have been my philosophy) I was informed that it was a remake of a french film. Not "Taxi Driver." Oh. I had a point...it's that I didn't realize that Giselle Bunchen is in the movie (thanks Superficial). Not that this changes whether or not I'll see it, it just makes me laugh a little on the inside. Apparantly she uses a gun. Or just holds it, I can't tell from the pictures.

In fashion news, slutwear is so last year (via Lindsayism). Why didn't anyone tell me? What am I supposed to do w/ all my half-shirts, thongs w/ low riders, and micro-minis? I can't afford a whole new wardrobe, I guess I'll just have to wait for the fashion cycle to run it's course before I'll be considered "in" again. What's that..5 yrs? 10 yrs? I'll wait as long as I have to.

After my good friend JMP posted a comment yesterday, I started thinking about how fun those guys are and how I miss them so. Oh, how I do. I remember in high school Emily and myself huddling together in the car b/c it was f*cking freezing while JMP, Derrick, Dustin, and others would skateboard in back alleys and empty garages. We were the groupies. I also remember how everytime we went to Casa Ole they would joke about not paying. And one time at IHOP leaving a free movie pass and $5 off Olive Garden coupon as a tip..."It's dinner and a movie" we told ourselves. And...there was the time we spent the night at Dustin's and decided to play truth or dare (which actually just turned into truth) and Dustin saying that the weirdest place he'd ever made out w/ a girl was "upside down, backwards, in Europe." I still can't figure out what this means. I hope I still remember these things years from now...at what point will they be replaced with new memories? How much space do we have to save everything that's ever happened to us? Maybe I should repress them, for storage purposes.
R.

That's how I roll

So my bosses decided they didn't want to come in to work today...so it's just me, the computer, and my imaginiation.

Last night I of course watched "The Apprentice." Sure, many times before they've used this line when promoting various episodes: "It's the boardroom everyone will be talking about." And many times I've found myself not talking about it. But this time, they were serious. I've never truly been shocked by who the Donald has chosen to fire, but this time, I let out a huge "What!" (this can be read as Li'l John would say it for effect). I mean, yes Bradford should have not have given up his immunity, but honestly...we all know that Stacie wasn't going to get fired...not w/ all the drama she's going to stir up. It's just good tv. So I believe it was fixed. Yes, I said it. I don't think reality tv is necessarily "real". "Shut up" you say. I won't. "But it can't be true." It is. I'm a purveyor of the truth, you can't stop me.

And again w/ Britney (I can't stop myself!)....apparantly she's going to try to get pregnant on her wedding night. To quote the article, she says "I want to be a young mum." Mum? What is she, Canadian? Luckily they make baby pink uggs, in case the child inherits Britney's inability to wear anything but Uggs or tennis shoes. Do they have baby wifebeaters?

Nicole Ritchie is coming out w/ her own clothing line, cleverly titled "That's Hot" (via Trent) . I have a better idea....a more appropriate title: "That's Ugly". (oh Reagan...you're so hilarious). It's funny how easily people can become a designer when they're already rich...Nicky H. (or whatever her new last initial is) w/ her hangbags, Paris w/ her jewelry, and now Nicole w/ her signature t-shirt line. I feel sorry for all the asinine people who buy this sh*t. Actually, I don't.

More later...you can count on this.
R.

You're not my type I could tell we wouldn't get along

Odd couple of the moment: Jack Nicholson and Kate Moss. If you find youself saying,"But they're so different...what could they possibly have in common?" then you can check out the hard core evidence of their biorhythmic compatibility. 71 %....that's still passing.

And it looks like it's dance off number two for Britney (via Ashley). I wonder what moves she used...the sprinkler? The shopping cart? The cabbage patch? My personal fave is the snake around the neck, but I usually only pull that one out while panhandling at Venice Beach. I wish I was a better dancer b/c if there's one thing I love to do, it's dance. Unfortunately, I have to be pretty intoxicated to feel comfortable enough to let loose on the dance floor...and the intoxication affects my motor skills, thus making me an even more terrible dancer. It's a catch-22.

Why do celebrities always feel the need to get married? It just complicates things and it rarely works out. Now Avril is jumping on the teenage marriage bandwagon (Is there a bandwagon? If not, I'll be happy to help decorate one). *note: I do realize this is yesterday's news...but I didn't feel like talking about it yesterday. I bet they don't even make it to the altar. $20...who's with me?

F*ck...I've been swamped today. I thought it would be slow since most of Hollywood shut down for the holiday, but no...people keep calling and making me have to work. I wasn't expecting this, I was looking forward to a leisurely afternoon spent surfing the net and waxing philosophically about life and relationships.

When I graduated high school, I went to a graduation party where we took a photo of everyone posed together at Applebee's (small town...few options) and then we signed frames in which to put the photos...like a yearbook...but a picture frame. I think people signed things along the lines of "Good luck" and "I'll miss you"....however, I chose to write this: "Make visible what, without you, might have never been seen" (random quote I found on my friend, the internet). I wonder if anyone took this to heart? Somehow I doubt that...even I didn't listen to my own advice. Has anyone I know or knew achieved anything close to greatness? It's depressing when you think about it.

On a positive note..."The Apprentice" comes on tonight. That makes me happy. I'm also feeling kind of sh*tty so I can't wait to go home, get into my pajamas, and lay on the couch. Aaaahhhhh.....
Reagan

Gold teeth and a curse for this town

I have no idea why I'm so tired today...seeing as how I slept for 9 hours (since my bosses are out for the holiday, I took it upon myself to sleep in a little). This morning, I continued the tradition of eating breakfast (it is the most important meal of the day) and instead of watching the news, I checked out the Olsen's "So Little Time" on Fox Family. I'm sorry to say, this wasn't the first time I've seen it. Tween shows are an addiction of mine.

This guy is awesome. It's like, he's so sensitive, but yet such an a**hole at the same time.

Ben Affleck will replace Clinton as the host for the season premier of SNL. Ben may not be the best actor (to put it nicely) but he's pretty hilarious on the show. Ex: In his opening monologue last season, he had T-shirts reading "Boprah" and "Mary Kate and Ashfleck" making fun of the whole "Bennifer" hoopla. Also, hilarious skit about the making of "Gigli" in which a retarded extra (Fred Armisen) said, "Ben, I don't think this movie's gonna work." In case you missed it...

Last night I realized (I like to "realize" things a lot) that I don't like a lot of people. Frankly, a majority of people out there make me feel uncomfortable. I went to this bar last night where my friend Brad was having a mixer (insert finger into throat in a gagging motion) w/ two of his friends and I found myself talking only to the people I came w/ and actually fearing the thought of having to make small talk w/ anyone else. I'm not always like this. I just really don't want to have forced conversation. I want to meet people w/ whom I can talk freely w/o worrying if I'm going to say something weird or inappropriate or what have you. These were not those people....I could tell just by looking at them that we didn't have the same sense of humor. And somehow, they made me feel "less than"...as if I weren't pretty enough or smart enough or up to their level. Why should I let total strangers let me feel this way? I can say this about myself (this is me being positive)- if I go to a party w/ people who I would consider "fun" I will almost always walk away w/ a new friend as well as having talked to a lot of strangers (and enjoyed it). I guess I just can't operate outside of my element. And this is something I need to learn to do, if for anything, to elimate some of my insecurities. And so I can stop feeling so f*cking awkward.
On a side note: Kyle from "The Real World: Chicago" was there last night. He seemed like an a**hole.
R.

For those of you with nothing better to do....

Katie O sent me this link....pretty funny, it asks a few tv critics and reporters about the worst pilots they've ever seen. Mine would have to be...."Save the Last Dance" (yes, there was a pilot...but it never aired). I mean, has there ever been a movie that has turned into a successful series? Well, I guess there was "M*A*S*H"....and that one w/ Mr. Tibbs...can't recall the name....nevermind, it's "In the Heat of the Night". Okay, but has there been one recently? Didn't think so.

And you can check out this website if you want to find out when a certain band is going to be on tv. For example: type in Cary Brothers and you get Craig Kilborn on 9/21. Hopefully my bosses will let me go. Here is the lame email I sent them (I sound like a complete idiot...just a warning, it may shatter your perfect image of me):

I don't know if this is possible, but I thought I might as well ask. My friend got us tickets to Craig Kilborn next Monday b/c Zach Braff is going to be on the show (I'm a huge fan). The only thing is, I would have to leave at 430. I understand if this can't be done, but thought I would ask anyway.

"I'm a huge fan"....I'm a huge tool is more like it. Yes, a tool.

I have to give a shout out to Sallie Mae...thanks for continuously reminding me that my loan payment is overdue. It makes me feel good to know that you're thinking of me.

R.

I know it hurts. But it's life, and it's real. And sometimes it fucking hurts, but it's life, and it's pretty much all we got.

I feel like I should follow that quote w/ a profound or meaningful post, somthing about life, something deep and moving...but I won't.

I love when people start writing in the wrong IM box...usually it illicits this response: "oops". It's so universal. You know what it means when someone types that..."oh, they wrote in the wrong box." Usually it's nothing too funny, but just now I sent my friend a message and she wrote: "I never said I was sexually interested in you. You asked me sexual questions and I answered them." Oh man, oh man...definitely wrong box. So that made me laugh. Or "LOL" as some would say.

Yeah, I can't help myself. I act like I'm above those PH protestors or the internet obsessors, but the fact is, I am one of them. So I'll just write what I'm going to write and be done w/ it. So Britney Spears. Her mommy dearest Lynne had this to say as to the barefoot debacle: "As for her walking barefoot, The Doctor's orders are for her to wear Uggs or tennis shoes and it's just too hot for that." It all makes sense now...that's why she wears the Uggs...it's not a fashion statement, it's purely for medical reasons. You can read what else Lynne had to say at Lynne's corner on Britney's offical website.

Ashley just let me know that she got us tickets to Craig Kilborn for next Monday....and here's the f*cking awesome line up.
Zach Braff
Flava Flav
Cary Brothers
Yes, this is the same line up I told you to watch on Monday...I obviously had the wrong date. Which is good, b/c I forgot to watch. I'm such a bad stalker. But here's how I figure things will go down:
I will be sitting in the front row, b/c that's where they put the pretty people (sometimes I like to flatter myself). Zach will be talking to Craiggers (or Kilby, whatever you like to call him) about "Garden State" when our eyes will meet and he'll say, "Excuse me, I can't help myself" before climbing into the audience where he'll start making out passionately with me. In front of everyone. Yeah, it will be great.
Now I just have to hope my bossess will let me leave early. To lie or tell the truth, that is the question.
R.

Hell no, we won't go

My shirt is suffocating me. It's literally crushing my lungs so that each breath is a very slow, concentrated inhalation/exhalation. This is what happens when I try to look cute. Never again.

So far, so good w/ the new Reagan. Twice this week I've woken up 1/2 hour early to eat breakfast and watch the news rather than jumping out of bed at the last minute and rushing to get ready for work. I feel invigorated. I also realize this may not last long, so I should enjoy it while I can. Last night I actually left my house to go to a showcase titled "Hooray for Hollywood" w/ scenes from films from the 30's and 40's. It was entertaining, but I think I really liked it b/c it only lasted 1 hour and 15 mins. I have a short attention span. When I got home, I watched "The Real World" w/ my friend who works on the show...she kept talking about things that happen later in the season and I found myself in an internal tug of war: "tell me more" vs. "don't ruin the ending". Tell me more won, but I won't spoil anything for the rest of you. I have decided that Landon is my favorite character this season....the scene w/ him and MJ in the confessional was f*cking hilarious. I don't think I've ever actually laughed at "The Real World"....full on, holding my stomach laughing.

And in more Paris H news...while she was doing a book signing at Book Soup, she was met w/ about 50 protestors holding signs w/ statements such as "Paris, your book is only good for hamster bedding." Really, is that all you've got? Hamster bedding? I would like to think maybe some of the other signs were a little more creative, but then again, these are people that spend their time protesting Paris Hilton's literary efforts.

Suddenely I'm reminded of this time a few years ago when a few friends and myself were driving around looking for somewhere to eat. As we passed by the Gap, we see this guy (friend? maybe...but more like just some guy we knew) Zane protesting in favor of workers' wages (I'm assuming sweat shop workers...I don't think he was protesting to raise the wages for the guy who folds the sweaters). After Derrick yelled out the window "Zane!", making him the most popular of the five protestors, Coy quipped "What's Zane doing there? He doesn't even work." It's true, and even though that's not the point of the protest, Zane didn't have a job but rather his dad paid for everything. I guess it was funny if you were there (and saying this always makes for a bad story), but maybe Emily will read this and laugh. Basically, Zane was just one of those guys who protested for the sake of protesting. He liked to call people "socialists" when it wasn't even relevant. Oh, memories.
Reagan

This is what I'm talking about

I always fear somehow either my bosses or my mom will find my blog and it will ruin my life. This confirms my fears (at least in regards to blogging about work...doesn't really have anything to do w/ my mom). Not that I say that many bad things really, I'm pretty vague I think about my work and really only b*tch in generalizations when it comes to those who control me, but I don't want my mom to think I've ever made out w/ a boy, much less f*cked one. I'll always be a little girl in her eyes, until she finds out I like to get drunk and mess around. Let's keep that between you and me, shall we?
R.

It was supposed to be so easy

And in yesterday's news...Oprah gave away a car to every member of her audience. It cost $7 million....but that's nothing when you're worth billions. God, that makes me sick at my stomach, the thought of having so much money. I wonder at what point you realize you can have anything you want. $10 million? $20 million? Sometimes I live like I have an endless supply of money, until I realize I can't afford to eat for the next two weeks. I desperately need a new car (the piece of sh*t I call my "ride" is currently on hospice...no more trips to the body shop, no more repairs, I just want it to die peacefully)...maybe I should write Oprah a letter (b/c I'm sure she would respond...most likely w/ an autographed picture sent by an employee of her fan club). Or maybe I should go to a taping. With my luck, it would be engraved soap day.

Not to beat a dead horse (I hate this saying...the imagery is quite depressing) but maybe blogging is the answer to my financial situation...but most likely not. I don't think having your friends read your blog really counts as a key market for advertisers.

I think it's time I officially declare my love for Jeremy Sisto. (Zach, Jake- this doesn't mean I love you any less). I'm crazy jealous that I won't be able to see him in Take Me Out...we're talking full...frontal...nudity. Damn you Geffen Playhouse and your $38-$53 ticket prices. Damn you to hell!!!

I'm ready for new Celebrity Poker episodes. Actually, I'm ready to play some poker myself. Maybe I should plan another game night. Yeah, good idea. Unfortunately, I can't have it at my apt, seeing as how our landlord doesn't like us making any noise whatsoever. It's quite sad- anytime I get home late (and especially if I've been drinking) I feel like I'm sneaking in...I actually tip toe and hold up a finger to my mouth to indicate "shut the f*ck up" or "shhhh", depending on how I place it against my lips. At least in high school I could just climb out my window and do it right....until I realized that my parents were really heavy sleepers and I just started walking out the front door. And back to Celebrity Poker...wouldn't you know, thanks to this little invention called the "internet" I found out when the next episode will air- September 16th. Check out the line up of players here.
Reagan

I can't keep being your second choice, not when you're my first

So I hear on the radio this morning that Mary Kate and Ashley are going to be spokespeople for McDonald's in Europe. I'm sorry, what? Since when is it a good idea to have an anorexic as a spokesperson for a fast food chain. Isn't the whole point that they don't eat? Maybe a bulemic, sure with that value menu, but not an anorexic. What's next....[insert joke here] I can't think right now.

Last night watched the premiere of "Everwood". Two comments:
1) I still love this show, think it's one of the best on television(as I've said repeatedly), but have to say that it's getting to be a little too dramatic. I mean, c'mon, Andy sending Madison away b/c she's pregnant w/ Ephram's baby...a little bit soap opera-ish, if you're asking me. But you're probably not.
2) What's w/ Ephram's hair? Sideburns? Really? Gotta say, not a fan.

I have nothing else to say right now.
Reagan

Garden State love fest

My precious Zack will be on "The Late Late Show" tonight along w/ the wonderful Cary Brothers (who has the song "Blue eyes" on the soundtrack). Everyone should check it out. I heard a rumor/gossip/hearsay that he (meaning Zack, not Cary) apparantly hits on married women w/ the line: "How married are you?" I think this was probably something uttered by Adrian Grenier and the person who spread this was simply confused, b/c they both have curly black hair. That's the only possible explanation.

In other music news...I'm really digging my new burned collection of cds. Yeah, that's right, I burn them. I can't afford to actually buy them, so get off my back. (I actually doubt anyone would scoff at my burning of cd's...but just in case) I inherited Granddaddy, The New Pornographers, and Keane through my new exchange plan w/ Scotty Mo. I also acquired Brendan Benson "One Mississippi" from Bre and the new Libertines and the Unicorns from Ashley.
So there you go...my cd collection is now officially overflowing (a simple trip to best buy to purchase a new case would solve that problem, but seeing as how I cannot afford cd's, I can also not afford a cd case).

No one has bought my Inland Invasion ticket yet. C'mon people...get on the ball.
R.

Britney get down, you don't wanna she this sh*t

It's slow at the office today. I would be twiddling my thumbs if I didn't have this computer sitting right in front of me.

I have to sell my ticket to Inland Invasion b/c I'm in desperate need on money and this is my first move in trying to be "responsible". Any takers? I've already asked everyone I know via email and have been checking relentlessly to see if I've gotten any responses. Nothing. I will not be ignored, can't you people see this is my goddamn hour of need??? I didn't mean that. I take it back. Please buy my ticket.

My boss told me I look adorable today. I ususally look like sh*t. So this is an improvement. Mabye I'll dress decently again tomorrow.

My friend Vanessa sent me this link...she thought of me (aaahh) b/c a few months ago I forwarded her a link to a series of hilarious album covers. God, I wish I could remember that website. Here's one of the covers, which Ashley liked so much she chose to put it as one of her friendster pics.

Britney, you haven't shocked me since you started sporting doo rags. I just want things back to the way they were...back to a time when I actually said such things as "No she didn't" and "That's fugly." Now I just shrug my shoulders and say "eh"...before posting links here so others can become immune to her wardrobe indiscretions as I have.

I will preface the following w/ this statement: I do experience moments (week long binges) of what some would call "celebrity obsessive disorder." I've acknowledged it, chosen not to seek help, and am ready to move on. Kirsten D. apparantly made out w/ Josh "I couldn't act my way out of a paper bag" Hartnett. Good...maybe they can join forces and make a bad movie together. We can call it "Wicker Park 2" or "Wimbledon: The Sequel". (editors note: I haven't seen either...I just like to assume I wouldn't like them)

Speaking of Kristen D...I started thinking about this rap Chris Parnell performed on SNL a couple years ago...loved it, laughed my a** off. So here's an excerpt:

Yo yo yo, listen up! This is a true love song!
Uh-huh, uh-huh...
Ever since the day I was born
I've been looking for a ho' that I could call my own,
A beautiful dream I's just waitin' to be shown,
And then God Almighty throws me a mother f'ing bone.
One day she knocked on my door
And like a suicidal virgin laid down on the floor.
She said "Sweet C.P., please take me, I'm yours!"
But then the bitch passed out and she started to snore.
Turns out she got some bad 'E,
'But then I woke her up and showed her true ecstasy.
And before she went blind I said "Girl get off of me!"
But she said "I'm enjoying my ride, can't you see?"

I got my Kirsten D., a million G's
Fly 23's, Mercedes E's
Penthouse parties, Prada tees,
And a Chris-Craft 43 to sail the seven seas.

Just livin' it up on the West side
Everybody just chillin' pool-side
While my rhymes are going worldwide,
K.D. and me gonna do some slip'n'slide.

And here's one he wrote for Britney as well:

Listen up, bee-yotch!
You know she sex me, when she looks my way
I can't defend me, all I do is pray
For her to spare me with that sweet death ray
But the bitch really wants to take a roll in the hay
So I say, "Britney, baby let's just slow it on down
You know that you and me could take a spin around town
Just hop into my rover, roll the window down."
Yo it's a west-side night, and I'm feelin' alright
Got Britney down my pants, and my gin and Sprite
Yo it's a west-side night, and I'm feelin' alright
Got Britney down my pants and my gin and Sprite

And so we're mackin', at every mother f-in light
And I say "Chill bitch, I got some business tonight."
And then I see them in the opposite lane,
That car load of chumps'll know the meaning of pain

So bang bang bang goes my gat into the car,
That's hit number six this week so far.
I know the names, the dirty games,
But tonight their evil will go up in flames.

Yo it's a west-side hit, I got my Mack-10 lit,
Britney get down, you don't wanna see this sh-
Yo it's a west-side hit, I got my Mack-10 lit,
Britney get down, you don't wanna see this sh-

Some be dyin', some be fryin',
and too much circumstance then you'll be cryin',
so don't be cryin', I'm just dyin'
And as this bitch blows up then they will be flyin'
Britney Spears is just laughing as we drive away,
And I know tonight I'm gonna get some play
But if she tries to makes me stay, she can go to hell,
I got another f-in date with Sarah Michelle!

Reagan

New Year's Resolutions

Okay, I know it we may already be 8 months into 2004, but I've decided to make some new year's resolutions...and this time actually follow through.

1) Lose 15-20 lbs. Basically, I want to be hot. I don't really think I have the ability to be "hot" persay, maybe I should just go for cute, but I'm going to give it a try. Maybe I'll go for cute but slutty...or not. I just want to make out w/ someone and end this drought of sexual inactivity.

2) Be more active. This includes actually doing some form of exercise, which will help me achieve resolution #1. I also need to do more stuff during the week rather than just sitting on the couch all the time. I could go see more shows...or go to coffee shop and read (b/c I can't read at home...not w/ the TV being right there)...or I could just meet up w/ friends and hang out. My options are virtually limitless. Unless it involves money.

3) Become less uptight. I worry about too much, escpecially things I can't control or things I refuse to do anything about. One example: I grab the handle in the car too tightly when Ashley turns corners (note: she's not a bad driver...probably one of the best I know) Yeah. So this resolution, I'm going to hold to "best efforts". B/c in the past, I've always found it difficult to change inherent parts of my personality.

4) Become more motivated re: my career/future. I can't help but laughing at my use of the term "career". I guess I just don't feel like I have one. I have a job. But not a career. Seriously though...I need to do something about this. No more slacking.

Weekend recap: Made scallops and salmon w/ some friends on Friday (thanks to Alisa), was home by 11:30 b/c I was tired but still ended up staying up until 2:30 talking to Ashley (about what, I can't recall). Saturday morning joined Lisa, Alisa, and others for a yard sale where I made a whopping $30 which I split w/ Ashley b/c it was mostly her stuff. That night went to bbq at Craig's where I consummed much liquor but still could not wake my a** up. Then I got a headache. But I rallied on and we went to Jumbo's Clown Room where I had my first stripper experience. Nice. Don't really know what more I can say about that....except, I think there should be more of a market for nipple decorations in everyday life.

Now for the too much information portion of the post: I'm menstrual right now and everything is making me cry. I cried thinking about this movie I saw years ago called "The Cure" about a little boy who has AIDS. Sure, it's sad/heartbreaking/depressing...but I cried at the thought of it, not from actually watching the movie.

Time to be responsible and get to work.
R.

p.s. I'm a little depressed that "Six Feet Under" has ended. And by little depressed, I mean I no longer have the will to live. As I've said before, I really like my TV shows.

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion

When I read this heading, I took the words "Pig Poker" in a different context. We all have our dense moments, but for some reason I thought of the card game. I was so off. Talk about chocking the sausage. Ba dum dum. (Is that even a term? I don't know, I don't have a penis)

According to IMDB: "Actress Kirsten Dunst hopes she'll rekindle her romance with actor Jake Gyllenhaal one day - because he'll always be the love of her life." Oh, that's funny. I thought you said he was "boring" and a "stay at home guy" while you're an "out on the town girl". I guess you're just going to go out and bang all the actors/boy band members/douche bags you want and when you're done, come running back to Jake. Well you know what Kristen Dunst, we don't want you back. We're fine without you. In fact, we've never been better. So leave us alone, you f*cking troll!!!

Another IMDB gem of a headline: "Campbell Shocks with Drug Confession" I want to know- who did this shock? Who said, "No, not Naomi, a supermodel would never do drugs, not with all that money and pressure to stay thin...I just don't believe it."

I've been oversaturating my blogs w/ my sad attempt at pop culture commentary. I just don't think I have any rants about my sad life left in me. It's time to talk about something important...like TV, or movies, or MK & A...or even Britney Spears. I'm still panicking about my life as usual. I'm so nervous about asking for a raise next month. What if I don't get it? That's a completely possible...possibility. Then what? I'll have to look for a new job, right? I need more money, I'm getting paid in nickels and dimes.
R.

PS. Name the movie from which I stole the title quote and I'll love you forever. Or just say "good job"

No time for a clever subject

This morning as I was drying my hair, my blow dryer started shooting sparks at my head. It scared the sh*t out of me.

So, last night's TV...here's the breakdown:

1) Joey- It didn't suck. In fact, I laughed quite a few times. I should just accept the fact that sitcom one-liners do it for me. I thought I had better taste. But I just can't help laughing at the goofy bastard.

2) The Apprentice- Well, I'm already addicted. I thought I wouldn't like the new cast, that I'd be yearning for the days of Heidi, Troy, Bill, Nick, and even Omorosa...but now I have new people to love and hate. With a passion that shouldn't be subjected upon TV reality stars. Here's who's caught my eye so far:

Andy- fresh out of Harvard, an experienced debater, and according to EW an excellent tennis player. Andy, you can orate on me anytime. Did she just say that? What does that even mean?

Stacie J- Alisa and I have dubbed her "crack whore Stacie"...b/c the b*tch is crazy. So maybe the name doesn't really go, but we like it.

John- Basically, I want to do him. It's that simple.

Stacy R- Cute as a damn button.

And that's it. I look forward to getting to think I know the rest of you.
Reagan

Making me over

And now for a post where I don't pointlessly include links that not even I read. I like to compare my self deprication to that of one Conan O'Brien (or Con Ob as he suggested after the most famous half acronym, half nickname J Lo spread like wild fire) but I know that it's not the same...b/c it's not funny.

I need a new style. Meaning, a style period. Right now the look I'm going for is "girl who wears clothes that are slightly too big and were ugly to begin with." I can't think of a clever name, like heroin chic or mod, for example. The people (not regular people, famous ones, the ones who matter) who's style I admire are: Mary-Kate (she's funky...I wish it didn't sound so lame when I say/write that)...and now I can't think of anyone else. So there you have it- I wish I was an Olsen twin. Not the first time I've said that and it's definitely not the last.

After Juliet posted about an 80's party idea Renee was tossing around, with a Jem and the Rockers theme (it's unfortunate Jem was so much bigger than Barbie b/c she was too tall to make out w/ Ken...I think it gave her a complex...and confused me b/c I didn't know what to do w/ her) it made me think about fashion and different time periods. I remember my parents telling me when I was younger that every fad will come around again. I didn't believe them...no way would I ever dress like a hippie. But wouldn't you know it, junior high/high school rolls around and bell bottoms are back in style. And now it's 2004 and what's the fashion trend: the 80's. Big hoop earrings, leg warmers, layered skirts, striped shirts, bright colors, the high heels, etc...So now I'm wondering: when will the preppy a** clothes I wore in middle school come around again? Or are they already? I've been seeing the occasional sweater vest, should I be worried? I really don't think I'm ready to do 1992 all over again. I was pretty ugly that year.
R.

TV and Me

So in the past week I've watched The Girl Next Door two times. I would hang my head in shame, but I can't help it...every now and then a movie that's not that great, not that funny, not that entertaining really hits me...right here (pointing to heart). Okay, so it didn't actually touch me emotionally. But it did make me question whether Emile Hirsch had in fact turned 18 (yes, he has, so my thoughts were neither dirty nor wrong...well, at least not frowned upon by society). Scotty Mo liked the movie b/c Elisha Cuthbert is hot (and it gave him a new phrase "That's the tits") so there's something in it for everyone. I guess this isn't as bad as the time I watched Here on Earth twice...what the f*ck was I thinking? Worst. Movie. Ever. Seriously.

Okay, I was looking over the new EW during lunch and decided I would list the new shows I'm excited about (I watch a lot of TV...if you haven't picked up on that):

1) Jack and Bobby : As a huge fan of Everwood, I will definitely be checking out Mr. Berlanti's new series. If I were a gay man, I would make love to him...if he would have me. But I'm not, so I wonder if he would give me a job instead?

2) Desperate Housewives: This was a great script. Let's just hope Teri Hatcher doesn't taint it w/ her trashy/sucky acting (maybe I'm just annoyed from those commericals w/ that football guy). Except for that one skit she did w/ David Spade on Saturday Night Live...that was hilarious.

Shows I won't be watching:

1) Hawaii: Although I consider Eric Balfour as the best guest star on television, this looks like crap.

2) Life as we know it: Kelly Osbourne... need I say more.

3) Kevin Hill: I don't watch UPN.

4) Commando Nanny/Complete Savages: And the race begins for the first show to be cancelled.

To end on a positive note, shows I can't wait to return:

1) Arrested Development: Thank god it wasn't cancelled. Thank you, thank you. It's the funniest show on television. And my reason for living.

2) The OC: Will Ryan stay in Chino? Where did Seth go on his sailboat? What will happen with Marisa's drinking problem? Is Summer still annoying? Too...many...questions. Need...more...OC. Why must we wait until November...why???!!! (notice how every show now involves a beach...The North Shore...Summerland...Laguna Beach...I had a great idea for "Galveston: The Series" but I don't want to oversaturate the market)

3) Scrubs: It's already back. But just had to reiterate the fact that I love Zach Braff. Like, "I think he may be the one" love him. In case you didn't know. I'm not crazy.

4) Everwood: I know a lot of people probably think this is some cheesy/lame 7th Heaven-type show...but it's not. It's got some of the best writing on television. You should watch it, if you know what's good for you (was that a threat?)

5) ER: Been watching it for years, why stop now?

6) According to Jim: Just kidding.

That about wraps it up.
Reagan

Rubbin' sticks and stones together makes the sparks ingite

Can't get it out of my head...damn you Starland Vocal Band! Damn you to hell!!!

Okay, I'm going to be non-linear...for a change.

Is Birth the new Brown Bunny?

Maybe this remake won't suck.

Does anyone still care?

Dave Eggers will be on Conan tonight. If you care, you should watch. If not, then please disregard.

Richard Butler, famed white supremacist and founder of Aryan Nations, died yesterday. Good. Now he can join Hitler....in hell!!!

And I'm spent. Well, with regard to posting links. I still have other unimportant things to say.

Last night while watching "That 70's Show" (which jumped the shark about 4 seasons ago but I still watch b/c of Topher Grace...love him) Fes (Mr. Lohan to those of you unfamiliar w/ the show) made this statement:
"I like my woman like I like my wine: red & full of alcohol"
to which Ashley quipped, "Lindsay Lohan"
Now that I've written this, I realize that it was probably only funny in the moment. And maybe not even then. But I laughed. Oh, how I laughed.

Excerpt from P. Hilton's biography, Chapter 2: How to be an Heiress
#2: Have a great name
If you're going to be an heiress, you can't have a normal name unless you're British. All British people have plain names, and that works pretty well over there.
Brilliant.

I actually have sh*t to do right now, but frankly don't feel like it. So I'll talk about the immediate future.
1) I'm ready for lunch. I hope my cup of soup will be good, even if I don't have any crackers to go with it.
2) I'm going to watch "Joey" tonight. I have to see for myself. I hope I don't like it...I think I'll be ashamed if I do.
3) "The Apprentice"- I hate the second season of reality shows...I never think the cast is as good as the original. Case in point: Survivor. But I only watched two seasons, so who am I to judge? Maybe the one where the girls all bathed together was really good, you know?
4) I must, must, must read more of "You shall know our velocity"...I mean, Ashley and I started this book club, and we're the only ones who haven't read the book. Now instead of enjoying myself w/ it, I feel like I have homework.
5) Friday. Payday. Thank god.

I'm outtie 5000.
Reagan

Hit me baby...please...just one more time

Dear Britney,

I just wanted to say something to you. It's been something I've been meaing to tell you for a while.

Thank you.

Thank you for bringing so much joy into my life with every silly/crazy/fugly outfit you wear. There are now legions of fans who await your every ridiculous photo op...I can't even make up what you might do next. My favorites (so far) have been as follows:

1) The Mrs. Federline wife beater (let all the ladies know...he's taken!)

2) The pink uggs, especially with cut off shorts to really accentuate your stubby legs...or just regular uggs. Maybe with a dress. No matter how you do it, you're guaranteed for one ugly outfit.

3) The "Adiqted to Kabballah" tee (I also recommend "Kabbalists do it better"...Madonna wore it first, but I'm sure you won't mind copying her)

3) Any outfit revealing your thong (so as to solve the mystery of "silk or cotton?")

5) Any time you wear a hat- be it trucker, fedora, doo rag (would this be considered a hat? I've never had to think about this before)...sometimes even two hats are better than one. Did I already say fedora?

6) And this (yeah....that's just gross).

7) Oh Jesus!

We don't mean to give you a hard time Brit. Actually we do. I just don't know how you do it, but you're still able to surprise me after all these months. So again thanks...for the memories.

Your faithful follower,
Reagan

That's hot...Loves it...and other Paris-isms

So last night Ashley met Paris Hilton at a signing for her biography "Confessions of an Heiress." I have to tell you, the book, it's hilarious. It reads like it was written by a 12 yr old...or an idiot savant, minus the savant. It's going to make the perfect coffee table book, sorry "History of Film" you've been replaced. When I stated (saracastically mind you) that I am a huge fan of Ms. Hilton's, Emily retorted w/ "Fan of what? She doesn't do anything." It's true, she doesn't. How can you be a fan of someone for just existing? I mean, would I be a fan of her "work"...meaning "The Simple Life" or "The Simple Life 2" or her cameo in "Zoolander" or her blossoming film career (to this, I roll my eyes) or her new jewelry collection (which I wouldn't be caught dead in...unless I actually died and someone thought it would be funny to drape me in her sterling silver and swarovski jewelry...now that I think about it, I would actually compare her designs to the heart of the ocean replica from "Titanic"...the mutual ugliness is uncanny). It's funny how much I can go on about Paris. And by funny, I mean pathetic.

Also last night...season premiere of "The Real World." I usually only catch this show/become addicted when they play the Saturday or Sunday marathons and I find myself glued to my couch all day as the drama plays out. The shocker this season...two "homosexuals" in the cast, both men. Oh my goodness, two in one house, it's too much for an innocent girl from East Texas to take. I didn't know there were so many out there. I mean, there was that one guy in my high school, but two??? Geez.

Update from yesterday...I'm kind of liking my new work attitude. It makes the day more....what's the word....pleasant. Every now and then I've felt myself tensing up, getting pissed off, wanting to punch my co-worker in the face (Can you tell I'm pregnant? Is my stomach any bigger? Being pregnant is hard...and yadda yadda yadda, blah blah blah) and scream at whatever f*cker is bothering me on the phone at the moment, but then I calm down and go back into perfect employee mode. And everything is good once again. Speaking of work...I gots to go do some of that.
R.

Best. Weekend. Ever.

Too much happened this weekend for me to do a play by play, so I just give you the highlights. Sadly, I think I like writing about nothing more than I like writing about something. It's weird, I know.

So...Friday night went to Goldfingers- my new favorite bar. It had a gold cage and a smoke machine...need I say more? I will...I haven't danced in public (meaning not at a friends house/apt) in a long while, but Friday night, it was on. I danced like I've never danced before. Arms flailing, hips shaking, head tossing...I know I looked like one of two things: 1) A 7 yr old or 2) A seizing 20 something. But I didn't care, and it was awesome. Then we went to Cinespace. As we walked through the club, I began to notice something very strange...we were the only white people there. Everyone else was Asian. People were staring. We had crashed someone's birthday party. We decided to make the best of it, but after we couldn't take any more really bad techno music, we left and went back to Goldfingers, back to dancing to 80's music and modern hip hop. That's the way it should be. Techno makes me want to...I don't know what...basically, I don't like it. Don't have a clever comment for that one.

Saturday went to the Grove and checked out Hollywood & Highland. Took a picture of Mary Kate & Ashley's star. No need to say more. Went to Maryn and Tom's that night...good times. I like those kids.

Sunday went to Temescal Canyon and had a picnic then went to the beach. God, I f*cking love the beach. The waves were crashing really close to the shore, which means they were pretty much kicking my a**. I kept getting slammed into the sand and dragged along by my boogie board. I looked like an idiot, of this I am sure. But again, I was having a good time so frankly, I didn't really give a sh*t. Except when I ran into a bunch of kids on the beach, knocking over a 5 yr old...that was embarrassing.

Monday went to Hermosa Beach searching for a bar Emily wanted to check out that was actually in Santa Monica so we didn't find it. We gave her a hard time, pissed her off, but we can laugh about it now, right Emily? Right???
That night, we gussied ourselves up and went to Sky Bar. I've never been before and now I know why...the drinks were freaking $12 a piece. And they don't have tables, they have a giant mattress for everyone to sit on. It sounds comfortable in theory, but it wasn't. I think we spilled at least 3 drinks in our attempt to look "cool" by casually leaning back upon the pillows. It seemed like everyone there was trying to look "cool"...no one was laughing/smiling/appearing to be enjoying themselves whatsoever. Except for our quartet who, not caring if anyone heard us, had a rather loud discussion about gynocologists. Oh man, if I could repeat it I would, b/c it was hilarious. I'm such a tease. After Sky Bar, we appropriately went to Mel's Diner where we stuffed ourselves into a food coma (my choice phrase of the weekend...I ate so much, I honestly think I gained five lbs...I'll weigh myself later and get back to you b/c I know you really care). Best moment of the night: Emily telling us the funniest story I've ever heard in my entire life about her experience at a Strokes concert. I won't repeat it b/c a) I don't know if she wants me to and b) I don't think it would be as funny. But I laughed harder than I ever have. And am even laughing right now just thinking about it. Oh man, so funny, so hilarious, got to catch my breath, laughing so hard.

They're leaving today so I said my goodbyes this morning before work. I'm going to miss the hell out of them. Honestly, when you put the four of us together, I laugh constantly. I think we are funnier as a foursome and should probably take our show on the road. Matt B. can vouch for this, he was our audience of one during our Saturday and Sunday outings.

I decided I need to become the best assistant in the history of assistants so that when my year anniversary comes up next month and I got to ask/beg/demand a raise, I can use "well, I am the best assistant ever" as leverage. So I wasn't going to post b/c I should be always working, always ready to do whatever my bosses want at the drop of a hat. Need me to email something...done. Want a copy of that script? Already on your desk. Thirsty? Let me wet your palette w/a delicious glass of freshly squeezed lemonade. You see what I mean. But then I realized that it's so slow, I'm tired, it's Tuesday but feels like Monday, and I just don't have anything to do. Thus, I wrote. But now I'm done. Finit. The end.
Reagan

Ephram the retarded rabbit

Emily and Bre are now in LA. In the great words of a former friend (I use this term loosely) who shall remain anonymous, "Woooo Hoooo". Last night we had dinner at Marix which is pretty funny, considering they just came from Texas and we took them to eat Tex Mex. Yes, pretty funny indeed.
I'm only working 3 hours today and I couldn't be happier. Well, I could, b/c I could have more money and be thinner and have a better haircut...but I digress. I'm just ready for the clock to strike one and I'll be out of here so fast the outline of my body will be left floating in the air. I know, I've said this before, get off my back.
So I'm done w/ the crazy posting of links. Social commentary is not my forte. I'll stick w/ talking about nothing (nothing being my boring pathetic life). But you know, it's not so bad. I have a good time. In general.
I have no clue what the ladies and I are going to do tonight. As for this afternoon, I'm meeting them for lunch and then going shopping...where I will live vicariously through them b/c I have no money. This is so depressing. F*ck, I want to buy something so bad I can taste it. Or so badly. I don't know...or care.
Okay, apparantley my boss wants me to "work". Who the hell does she think she is?
R.

Don't tease me about my hobbies. I don't tease you about being an a**hole.

And I'm back to the movie quotes.

Reasons why Mark Ruffalo is adorable:

1) You Can Count on Me: Adorable loser guy
2) Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind: Adorable glasses guy
3) 13 Going on 30: Adorable romantic lead guy

Reasons on the contrary:
1) A View from the Top: Really bad movie guy
2) In the Cut: Creepy cop guy
3) We Don't Live Here Anymore: Boring wife swapper guy

Adorable wins. Mark , welcome to my fantasy bank.

Could Jesus be the next Superman? Maybe. Or
maybe not. I mean, he did turn water into wine...why not add in the ability to fly? (note: I'm obsessed w/ html now...please excuse the incessant posting of links)

It's so hot that I had to crack my car window to avoid suffocating. I also immediatley began perspiring the moment I left my office.

This is what the dental assistant at my mom's dentist's office had to say about Britney Spears: “Just because you have money doesn’t mean you have taste”. No, no it doesn't. Unfortunately, I have neither of these things.

Back to work. La di da.
R.

Who mistook the steak for chicken?

I'm going to take advantage of the fact that I now know how to use html. I'm always 5 steps behind everyone else.

According to handbag.com, Matt Damon has stated that after the Bennifer hoopla, he will only date civilians. Well Matty, turns out I just happen to be one of these "civilians" you speak of, so why don't you pick me up Saturday night, say around 8? Your treat. What's funny is that this news story was labeled as "hot off the press" as if he called a f'*cking press conference to make this announcement. I guess that's what I get when searching under "celebrity gossip"...what else would I expect?

So the headline to this news story was as follows: Lakers: Kobe gets off. *Warning: Obvious joke ahead. Apparently, that's not the first time. Oh, did she just say that? His alleged victim has dropped the criminal charges but will still proceed w/ a civil suit. So f*ck justice, I want my money. Okay, that was my first thought. Then I felt guilty, b/c I have no idea what it would be like to be in her shoes. I wouldn't want to testify. I wouldn't want to receive death threats and have my name dragged through the mud. But one has to wonder....can you really rape the willing? Okay, the issue of "did he or didn't he" is old news...moving on...

I have to thank the Daily Roundup for introducing me to my new obsession of the moment: Go Fug Yourself, with the motto "Fugly is the new pretty". I remember the first time I heard the word "fugly" was junior year of high school (thank you Meredith) and I've loved it ever since. If fugly were a person, I wonder what he/she would look like?

It's almost over, my incessant mentioning of Emily and Bre's impending arrival, but I'm so incredibly excited that they will be in LA as of 5:54 pm. Let the party begin.

Our receptionist has been late every day this week which means I have to answer the phones and deal w/ every other f*cking person saying "Hey Melissa, it's so and so" and me correcting them and them laughing at the mistake and then asking where she is and so on and so forth. She needs to get her a** her on time so as not to inconvenience me.
R.

I'm a genius

Check this out.
I learned how to post a link w/o posting the entire link.
R.

Gallo & Gallagher

So, Alisa has admitted that she liked "The Brown Bunny". Alisa, Alisa...that's something you keep hidden, like homosexuality. Sure, I haven't seen it, but I can tell you I know I would hate it. It's like knowing something will taste bad before you put it in your mouth (no pun intended). Basically, I have this thing where I don't like boring movies. Ex: "In the Bedroom"...but maybe if Sissy Spacek had given Tom Wilkinson a blow job, it would have spiced things up a bit. Ugh, I shudder at the thought.
This is almost over...but I must repeat...one more day until fun w/ Emily and Bre. Maybe I've built it up too much. What if it's not everything I'm hoping it will be and more? Oh, the pressure, the pressure!!!
Alisa and I were discussing our five-ten-twenty year plans at lunch and we've both come to the realization that we don't think we can struggle for the next however many years trying to work our way up the Hollywood ladder. Neither one of us wants it enough. That's so depressing, but I guess if I'm not willing to work hard enough for it, I don't deserve it. I feel like maybe I've been wanting what I think I should want and not what I really want. I'm lazy, I don't think I want to work that hard. I have to be honest w/ myself. Most importantly, I have to honest w/ you. Okay, not that last sentence...that's what I like to call a joke. Yes, it seems my new path should be comedy. Step aside, Gallagher.
Reags